I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
