I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
