Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
