Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Randomize
