You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
