google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
