READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
