Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
sex in a hospital.. check
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
