Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

HIV tests are more positive than that guy

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(440): View more from Ohio

Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."

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(773): View more from Illinois

it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"

(708): View more from Illinois

I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.

(773): View more from Illinois

don't worry... so do I

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(641): View more from Iowa

i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am

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(208): View more from Idaho

She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home

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(862): View more from New Jersey

You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.

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