Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
