Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Randomize
