I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
