i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
