K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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