I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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