Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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