C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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