It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
