How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
