I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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