Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
