I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
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