god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Randomize
