Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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