You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
