I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
