I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
