Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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