all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
My dick has a subreddit
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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