Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Do vagina's smell?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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