just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
