Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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