i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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