Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
