Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
