Define "chronic" masturbator.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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