That's when you crack a 10am beer
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
