i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
