She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
