Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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