my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
