Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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