belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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