I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
