3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize