is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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