"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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