Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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