thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
