he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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