ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
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