I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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