2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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