My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
