tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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