How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
